ENCspot: Equality North Carolina's Blog

Our Blog is Moving

ian — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 20:37:45 +0000

Visit the new blog at http://equalitync.blogspot.com

Preaching Hate

Kay Flaminio — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 20:58:45 +0000

What I really don't get is why gay marriage is such a visceral threat to them. Where is the evidence anywhere that gay marriage harms anyone? And why are social conservatives who don't believe that government should interfere in private life so willing to compromise their own principles? Not to mention that during this time of economic meltdown, they're more than willing to make North Carolina spend upwards of $3 million to implement a marriage amendment. Just think of what we could do with $3 million to help people right now!

This doesn't even count the estimated $2-3 million we'd be forced to raise trying to fight off an amendment. The fact is, we could raise $5 million and it still wouldn't be enough ($43 million wasn't enough in California). The fact is, you can't vote on people's inalienable human rights. You can't legislate hate and you certainly shouldn't preach it.

I just find it absolutely chilling that I might drive by a church this Sunday where all God's children are equal except those who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.

NC Public Supports Compromise Sex Ed Bill

ian — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 20:05:00 +0000

You can read more about the poll here.

This proves yet again that a very small minority has been forcing their values on the majority with inaccurate and incomplete abstinence-only sex education.

You know, I'm actually disappointed by the Healthy Youth Act--it doesn't go nearly as far as I think it should in an ideal world.

I believe all young people should get complete and accurate comprehensive sex education that encourages abstinence but also teaches contraception and disease prevention strategies. Since a majority of young people do start having sex before the graduate, this seems like a no-brainer. I'd like to see these horrible, medically inaccurate and often homophobic abstinence-only curricula sent to the dump.

Yet, despite most parents wanting comprehensive sex education (as previous studies have shown), it's become clear that there just aren't enough legislators with the will to end the abstinence-only debacle. That makes the Healthy Youth Act a worthy compromise.

While it doesn't get proven, real sex ed to every student, it will get it to a whole lot more than have it now. New Hanover County--hardly a bastion of liberalism--has tried a similar two-track system and found that the vast majority of parents choose comprehensive when given a choice.

If a small minority of parents prefer a curriculum that lies to young people and denies them accurate information, they could still choose that for their (unfortunate) kids under the Healthy Youth Act. But it's high time we stopped letting them hijack our schools and risk the lives of everyone else's children.

Equality NC at HK on J: Historic Thousands on Jones Street

T. Shawn Long — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 13:55:00 +0000

The people's agenda supports better schools and health care, equal justice, affordable housing, worker fairness, voting rights, environmental justice, and more.

As single-identity groups continue to define the majority of advocacy groups, it is important for progressive groups to come together and advocate through broad based coalitions like HKonJ.

While I looked out over the crowd on Saturday it was great to see other coalition partners that will be instrumental in helping us pass the School Violence Prevention Act. Planned Parenthood, the American Civil Liberties Union, and the Arc of North Carolina were just a few of the groups in attendance that will once again be instrumental in advocating for the School Violence Prevention Act.

A friend of mine who works with the Disabled Young People's Collective came up to me at end of the march and said, "Hey Stephen, let's get together and talk about the ENC lobby day. You know the bullying bill helps us out too."

Even as we move within the world of identity politics, I hope we can remember to stop and have those conversations about how we can help each other out too.

A New Intern Brings A Public Health Perspective to ENC's Work

ian — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 21:05:00 +0000

Greer - This is your new Public Health Education intern, Greer. I am finishing up my Masters in Public Health at UNCG and I am very happy to be here at Equality North Carolina so that I can to put my newly acquired knowledge to practice.

Not only is Equality North Carolina a wonderful place to work, but their mission is akin to my visions of creating change and improving the health and well-being of GLBT populations.

I have focused my research on GLBT issues, specifically transgender HIV prevention programs and disclosure of HIV+ status among youth. I became actively involved with Equality NC last spring by advocating for the School Violence Prevention Act (SVPA), and I am back to spread the word again!

As you all probably know, the SVPA will be reintroduced this spring and ENC is currently working on their second postcard campaign for the bill. In preparation for the 2009 legislative session, I have been researching bullying statistics to bring the most current information to the town hall meetings that are being held around the state.

Rebecca Mann, Community Organizer with Equality North Carolina is traveling around the state to educate communities about the SVPA this spring, and I will be there as well.

Additionally, we will be updating fact sheets about issues that directly affect you related to job discrimination, equal marriage/relationship recognition, and sexuality education just to name a few.

Being an ally is important to me because I have witnessed the negative effects that result from society’s failure to understand that identifying as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender is an innate characteristic and not a “choice.” As an ally, I am deeply committed to securing your rights alongside Equality North Carolina by advocating for equality and justice.

Be Mine

T. Shawn Long — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 16:23:15 +0000

We're being featured in a special Valentine's Day column called "The Gift of Love."

A few weeks ago, the paper invited folks to send in their love stories, along with a picture, saying they'd pick some to run the week before and after February 14.

(I'd hoped to include a link, but unfortunately I couldn't find this special column on their website. Hardcopies are distributed far and wide, though, and I have plenty of copies that I'd love to share. I did include the picture here.)

Now, I figured we had a good shot, beyond simply being a gay couple with kid trying to get into a progressive free newspaper. Craig and I actually met through the Indy's personal ads 15 years ago, back in the heyday of printed "Men Seeking Men" personals. I thought having that connection would be enough to make us a shoo-in.

Now, I'd love to say that I sent in our picture and blurb because I wanted to be sure a gay couple was showcased, to show that we're out there, just regular, ordinary folks.

I remember the first time I saw a gay couple with a child on television. It was stunning to me, as a young gay, to see this image of nuclear-family normality. When I was growing up, gays were often portrayed as unstable and wild. A single photo of a plain gay family did more for me to destroy that lie than my own reasoning brain could. Visibility does make a huge difference.

I'd love to say that I wanted the picture of my family to serve the same function for some other person.

I didn't, and that's not why I sent it in.

I'd love to say it was part of an elaborate Valentine's Day surprise for my partner, a token of enduring love and affection. It wasn't.

I did it because of the little guy in the picture, the one between me and Craig. The night the paper came out, at bedtime after I tucked him in, I said, "Oh, by the way, you'll never guess what I saw today." Then I flipped open the paper, showed him the picture, and read the entry to him.

His little hands flew to the side of his face, and he said "That's us! We're in the paper."

"That's right, Buddy. You're famous. I don't know how we got so lucky to get The Best Kid in the World (tm) in our lives, but now other people can see it to."

He was happy and smiling and overwhelmed. "I love you, Pa."

And that's why I did it. It was a gesture of love for my son.

I hope it does those other things, too, but that joy from my kid is all I really wanted. Love comes in many forms, and that's what Valentine's Day is about.

Meet Our New Communications Fellow

ian — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 20:14:46 +0000

Greetings from Equality NC! This is your new Communications fellow, Wes. Before I spill the beans on all of the exciting plans we have coming up, I wanted to take a minute to introduce myself and let everyone know a bit about me. I graduated from UNCG last May with a degree in (drumroll please....) Communication Studies! While I was there, I put a lot of focus into media studies and public relations. I was lucky enough to benefit from the instruction and guidance of some wonderful professors there who really inspired me to use my new skills to more effectively create change in the world. I feel so lucky to be involved in such a powerful organization working to create real change in our state. Now, onto the good stuff...

As some of you may have already noticed, we're working hard on creating a stronger presence on Facebook, and one that works with what we're trying to do. If you haven't become a Fan of us yet, click here and add us! The fan page is just another way for us to open our line of communication with you, but in the future, we hope it becomes a nice little hub for people to use, share, and interact regarding all things equality. In addition to Facebook, we're also updating our MySpace page and we've created a YouTube account. What's exciting about YouTube is that it allows us to share important multimedia and videos with you and with others all over the world in a visual way that many in our movement are just starting to catch on to.

Last but not least, you'll be noticing some changes on the website very soon. We realize that there are some minor functionality issues, and we should have a much cleaner, more effective website coming your way in the next few months.

Everyone has been so kind around the office here, and it's been so eye-opening to see how hard everyone is working on behalf of you. It's a world I almost never knew existed, and I'm so glad to be a part of it. I look forward to meeting you all at some point or another. I'll be traveling around to some of the Town Hall meetings with my video camera looking for your stories on bullying, so come ready to share! Until then... Here's to broadening our communication in 2009!

Family Bowling

T. Shawn Long — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 18:10:00 +0000

We had about 23 people attend. I organized the event through the Triangle Families Yahoo group and the Gay Dads subgroup.

It was mostly gay dads and their children, but there were a couple of lesbians (sans partners) and their kids.

The kids all got to bowl on one lane with bumpers, while the adults split into groups and took two lanes. Eventually we split the kids into two groups, too.

Children in general are agents of chaos, but when you add in the noise and activity of bowling, you get a sense of what true madness is. Still and all, it was a fun time, and despite the occasional hurling of a ball across lanes or climbing on top of the electronic scoring podium, everyone survived unharmed.

Three things of note:

I was referred to Meetup.com when I was setting up the meeting, and I discovered that there are several gay groups in the Triangle area that are listed there. I posted this bowling event to the Raleigh/Cary Gay Parents Meetup group and got several new folks to respond.
At least half of the people who came were totally new-to-me, and three sets of new folks were gay dad couples with kids. All three of the couples had had children through previous marriages (to women!), but had then come out and were now in a gay relationship and time-sharing the kids with their previous spouses. "How novel," I thought, "these nouveau gays having kids the old-fashioned way!"
When I called the bowling alley, Buffalo Lanes North, near Triangle Town Center, I asked about space for a group of gay parents and their kids. The two people I spoke with, one young women and one guy, were helpful and friendly. They were completely blase about the fact that we were gay parents with kids. Similarly, the folks I dealt with in person at the bowling alley were also the picture of respect and helpfulness. No one blinked an eye at gay families being out and having fun.

In addition to bowling, there was also much talking and soclializing (including comments on bowling's fashionable footwear), as well as mass consumption of soda, fries, and pizza, and lots of video game and air hockey playing.

As a kid, I never would've imagined there being an outing like this. It was one small meeting for a group of gay parents, but it was indicative of a great leap forward for all family (and "family") kind.

Rapid Response

ian — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:19:48 +0000

The response on Facebook has also been outstanding. Not only are supporters there clicking through and sending a message, dozens of folks are posting the link in their status updates so their friends and family can also join in the effort!

Why does it matter? Because legislators really do care what their constituents think. While there are many highly principled legislators on both sides who truly act on their values, there are many who will bend to the political winds.

When you send that email, make that phone call, have that meeting, you're helping build a gust of support for justice and equality.

Do Those Emails Really Work?

The short answer is yes. We've seen time and again that they make a difference.

If you're at the computer and see an alert, take 30 seconds right then to send the message, because they're counting. If you have another minute to spare, edit the message and make it personal. Your story will be remembered more than sample text we send out.

Of course, there are ways to do even more. A personal phone call or an in-person visit have a great impact. Why not build on that online action you took by taking Tuesday, March 24 off from work and come to Raleigh for Equality NC Day of Action (formerly known as lobby day). We'll make it a fun day and help you have an effective face-to-face meeting with your legislators.

Shaking Bill Clinton's Hand

ian — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 22:34:17 +0000

Bill Clinton was in Raleigh today to give a speech at NCSU. While he was in town, he took the time to attend two fundraisers for North Carolina candidates, and one of them was our very own Sen. Julia Boseman.

That's right, the former president chose North Carolina's only openly gay legislator as the beneficiary of his star power.

There are a lot of good reasons why he helped Sen. Boseman out. She went out on the campaign train with him and Hillary during the primary last year. She's always got a tough, expensive race as an openly gay Democrat in a Republican-leaning district.

But, there are plenty of folks around who have helped out the Clintons and have tough races. To have the former President lending his name to our state's only out legislator--one of only a handful in the South--is a powerful signal.

He said North Carolina needs smart people like Julia to guide us through this tough, tough year, and he's absolutely right. It's not just the LGBT community that's lucky to have her working for us, the whole state is benefiting from having her talent and perspective on Jones Street.

Discrimination and Activism at Kids Exchange

T. Shawn Long — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 16:25:00 +0000

The incident was particularly pointed in that one of the women was a volunteer at Kids Exchange.

Basically, if you volunteer then you and your spouse get to go to an early sale before the general public can shop. Kathy was a volunteer, but when she showed up with her partner, Amanda, she was initially turned away.

Another volunteer let them in, but then when they tried to check out, they were told they wouldn't be allowed back in again. Insult added to injury!

Now, obviously this is a terrible thing -- being discriminated against is horrible as we all know -- but three great things came out of it.

First, Amanda would not just sit idly by and take it. She went after this injustice, posting on a bunch of local newsgroups. More importantly, she asked people to contact Kids Exchange and gave them the contact info. And lots of people did.

Second, enough of a hullabaloo was created that the News & Observer covered it.

Finally, and best of all, the organizers were responsive. They stated that the purpose of the decade-old policy was not to discriminate against gay couples, and they are polling their volunteers to see if folks want to change the policy to limit shopping just to the volunteer or allow the volunteer to bring in one person of their choosing (spouse, partner, whatever).

Now, the situation isn't settled, and there's definitely still some education that can be done regarding discussing gay families in an appropriate manner, as well as generally being civil in the debate, i.e., there've been some missteps on both "sides" of the issue.

(I put "sides" in quotes because I honestly believe that basically everyone involved is a person of goodwill. Sure, a couple of the volunteers were definitely bigoted, but the organizers of the event do not seem to be, and everyone seems to agree on the positive purpose both of the event itself and the special benefit for volunteers.)

This entire situation is a microcosm not only of prejudice, but also of activism. These problems exist in all aspects of our life, but the ways to solve them are there, too. It all comes down to visibility and communication.

Never let prejudice go unaddressed. Talk to the person. Talk to their boss. Talk to their organization. Talk to your friends -- have them do the above. Talk to the press -- have them report on the above. Even if you don't get immediate results, everything you do is an investment towards understanding, normalization, and equality.

Sodomy Blog

T. Shawn Long — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 11:32:31 +0000

Please understand that my intention is not to undermine or belittle the fight for marriage equality. It is, of course, an important and necessary step in the fight for true equality. But there are other, smaller battles that need to be taken on and are occasionally ignored.

Sodomy laws are not a topic that many people are comfortable talking about, for many reasons. Beyond this, they're also a topic that many people feel no need to discuss anymore.

As you may be aware, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled sodomy laws unconstitutional in 2003. That case, Lawrence v. Texas, was a watershed moment for the LGBT rights movement. The ruling struck down sodomy laws in 14 states, including North Carolina.

What you may not know, however, is that North Carolina's Crime Against Nature (or CAN) law remains on the books. Even more disturbingly, the law is still occasionally enforced.

In May 2008, two men in Raleigh were arrested and charged under the CAN statute. Though the District Attorney ultimately decided not to proceed to trial, the simple fact that this remains an arrestable offense is unconscionable.

There are many reasons why repealing this law is important to our community. Amongst other things, the statute has been used by landlords as justification for not renting apartments to LGBT individuals.

It's been used by legislators to try and pass legislation in the state General Assembly that would prohibit sex education teachers from mentioning "sexual practices that are not lawful in North Carolina." And perhaps most damagingly, the CAN statute criminalizes the behavior of most LGBT individuals.

We cannot allow this statute to remain valid in our state. We cannot allow this vestige of ignorance and discrimination to continue to ruin the lives of LGBT people. We should not, and must not, allow this topic to be brushed aside anymore.

Giving to Others, and Yourself

T. Shawn Long — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 18:08:40 +0000

I've had many discussions with a friend of mine about where the line between enlightened self-interest and greediness ends, and altruism and philanthropy begin.

For example, when I go to church, I'm not going to glory in God or anything. (Sorry, God! I'm certain you know what I'm talking about. I appreciate the whole agape, caritas thing. We'll talk later. 8-]) Religion is way too personal and individual to muck it up with organization and dogma.

I'm going because I like the people there, I often enjoy the minister's little philosophical, slice-of-life homilies, and I think it'll be good for my partner and kid to have the church as a resource for us.

My motivations are certainly self-involved, but they're not negative, and the results are positive.

Similarly, I've increased my community involvement and volunteerism. The reason I'm doing it? Because I want my kid to see this behavior modeled and to learn it as a regular part of life.

I don't have any specific expectations on this one. I mean, I could say our trips to spend time with folks in nursing centers will hopefully mean he'll come visit me if I become old and infirm, but I hadn't even considered that until right this moment. (I hope it'll be true if it comes to that, though!)

The purpose of the King Day of Service is "to strengthen communities, empower individuals, and break down barriers." All of that is very useful to the larger whole, but it also helps the individual.

Service, volunteerism, and charity aren't about others versus yourself. If anything, it's about unity over dualism -- true service helps both the giver and receiver.

Why you do something matters, but a lot of time just the fact of doing it is what's important. What we get out of volunteer activity often exceeds our expectations, and in helping others, we help ourselves in ways we don't necessarily know or expect.

"Just do it" is the slogan of the Nike shoe company, and Nike is the Greek goddess of victory. Participating in the day of service, in any capacity, for any reason, is win-win for everyone.

Anti-LGBT Group "Feeling the Pinch"

ian — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 09:00:00 -0600

A little background: the Christian Action League is one of two right-wing groups that have lobbyists at the legislature working against equal rights every day. (The other is the NC Family Policy Council.)

The League's Creech (pictured) and his friends at NCFPC are truly dedicated to their work.

I know these guys. We talk in the halls and in the cafeteria. Once in a blue moon we even find ourselves in coalition together (supporting lobbying reform, for example).

The thing that always amazes me is the way they can smile and be so friendly when a centerpiece of their agenda is to ensure that it's legal to discriminate against me.

So, although I don't wish anyone ill in these tough economic times—we're bracing ourselves for a tough year at Equality NC too—it's a little bit nice to know we're making enough progress to make them spend more on defence.

The article also outlines some of their agenda for 2009:

At its recent Western, Central and Eastern Conventions, the Christian Action League reported on some of the legislation it expects to have to address in 2009:

Legislation giving special rights to homosexuals
Replacing abstinence only based sex education with comprehensive sex education, which essentially promotes the use of condoms
Legislation that would use taxpayer money to study the merits of legalizing medicinal marijuana in the Tar Heel state
Modifications to the current ABC system

Yep, we're at the top of the list again. No surprise. The anti-gay industry knows that scary homosexuals are the best fundraising tool they've got.

But, let's look at that agenda again, and here's what it amounts to:

Keeping a whole segment of North Carolinians from being treated equally
Ensuring schools continue to lie to kids about sex despite all the evidence that "abstinence only" sex education doesn't work
Denying funding to a medical study they don't like, and
Making it difficult for folks to have a drink

They can dress it all up in carefully crafted language. But when you get down to what they really mean, their agenda is far outside the mainstream of what most North Carolinians believe.

I bet their supporters will come through for them, and Rev. Creech will be back in those halls smiling at me on January 28. I just hope we can keep him on the defensive in 2009.

Milk, the past, and the future

T. Shawn Long — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 08:07:53 -0600

The movie felt dated. It told an important story of a seminal figure from, and time for, the gay rights movement, but it didn't resonate.

I was a kid when the actual history unfolded, but I definitely remember Anita Bryant, the Twinkie defense, and Milk's assassination.

Watching the movie, I felt like I was watching history, but it was simply history that had passed, not history that was still relevant to today's civil rights struggles. If the movie had come out 15 years or even a decade ago, it would have seemed more significant and made a societal impact, but watching it in 2008 it was simple passe.

(It was the difference between watching the Broadway show, "Rent," when it first came out and was so progressive and timely, and then watching the movie in the early 2000s, when it was simply an old and tired story.)

"Milk" constantly referenced Prop 6, which would have banned gay teachers (and teachers who supported gay rights) from California Schools. Given last year's struggle and loss with CA's Prop 8, which repealed gay marriage in that state, I couldn't help but wish the film had come out a year earlier, before last year's voting.

Still, even with the movie feeling old before its time, we're still fighting the same basic fight. North Carolina still doesn't have a comprehensive antidiscrimination law that protects workers from being fired based on sexual orientation, nor do we have an antibullying law that protects kids in schools from being harassed by homophobic bullying.

"Milk" is a part of the past, and our state's history of homophobia is something that needs to join it there. Times have changed, but our state is lagging behind. This year, 2009, is a great time for all of us to help bring it forward.