A Call to Action from Lobby Day

Good afternoon!

Wouldn't it be nice to live in a society where we're motivated more by hope than by fear? The "defense of marriage" legislation isn't about hope for marriage. It's about fear. Fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of people who are different from us.

So let's move past the fear and talk about perception versus reality.

The perception is that a marriage can be threatened by who else is allowed to marry. The reality is that the threats to the stability of any couple's marriage are the same they've always been:

• Poor communication
• Lack of trust
• Letting daily irritations crowd out what's important

When those threats are present in a relationship, it's in trouble. Who else in the neighborhood is or isn't married, gay or straight, is irrelevant. The relationship stands or falls on the efforts of the two people involved, and the support of their friends and family. It always has and it always will.

Personally, I am totally and utterly committed to my partner of ten years. I think if most people who are concerned about same-gender marriage could see our daily life, they?' be very surprised by how ordinary it is. One of us takes out the trash, the other does the dishes. One of us keeps track of the bills, and the other mows the lawn. If anyone has convinced you that we're the scary enemy, they've got the wrong couple.

Professionally, I'm a financial advisor. The biggest strain I see on marriages is money. When a factory closes, marriages all over town are under pressure. When the air is bad and there are more trips to the hospital, expenses increase and tempers can flair. When industries are laying people off, it's natural for couples to be edgy and argue. If the legislature wants to provide hope for marriages, it can address these very real threats.

I have another professional observation to make. Half of the Fortune 500 companies offer domestic partner benefits to their employees. The language in this legislation is so broad that it could prevent corporations from providing these benefits in North Carolina. At a time when this state needs all the jobs it can attract, do we really want to alienate 250 companies that could locate here? If the legislature passes these bills as written, they will have miserably failed Economics 101. If we as voters let it happen, we will have failed Citizenship 101.

Please, contact your state representatives and ask them to concentrate on what's really important to you, to me, and to citizens all across this state: good jobs, clean air, food on the table, safe roads, and access to decent health care. The rest is smoke and mirrors. Thank you.